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"YES" 2008 Obituary


YES 

YES o@ca.on.manitoulin.howland.little_current.manitoulin_expositor 2008-11-12 published
WADE--In memory of my son Brent WADE who was killed on the job at the age of 22.
Also in memory of all those parents who have lost a child, please know my
thoughts and prayers are with you.
Oh how the past nine years have flown.
I think of the self I was and no longer am,
And the different self that now has grown.
November 9, 1999, is when Brent's life ceased and this new life of mine
began.
In so many ways it seems like yesterday, the pain of losing him was so
intense.
With pain so unimaginable, my body had no means of self defense.
My heart ached, my stomach pained, thoughts of blackness, helplessness
and hopelessness filled me.
Our family circle now broken, a life without him I could not see.
SURVIVE! I asked how can anyone survive when your child dies and is gone
forever.
I felt broken and beaten like an uprooted tree.
Feelings of envy, anger, resentment and the question " WHY," always on my
mind.
Our children are an extension of ourselves, so much a part of us, part of
our dreams. They are the future.
Nine years later I now say, " YES," to taking the reins to reclaim my life
and now feeling so very, very blessed.
How did I endure this never ending journey of grief, through the maze of
emotions and the dark valleys so deep, to find this new meaning, new hope
and see light?
The success of my journey has been dependent on many.
1) My daughters and I always there for one another through this
rollercoaster ride.
2) My very special close Friends, you know who you are. Uncle Wayne and
Anna, Marg and Roy, Dan and Auntie Jen like family you are. You have all
been there, never ceasing to understand and to care. You would listen in
non judgemental ways to my stories as over and over I would share.
Sometimes family, because of their closeness to Brent and because each of
us are unique with our own grief and possibly are afraid of causing pain
and tears, cannot understand how important sharing memories, sharing
stories, acknowledging him on special occasions, helps us as Brent's
immediate family to travel this journey of grief to come to a point of
healing.
It is not to get over it as some people say, it is to learn to cope and
move on in a positive way.
3) The first couple of years the letters and calls from his Friends
sharing their stories, their memories of Brent, showed how they cared and
how Brent had touched their lives. Never underestimate the healing power
of your child's Friends.
4) A big part of my journey to healing has come from my involvement with
The Threads of Life, a national not for profit organization which came
into existence 5 years ago. Our mission is to provide peer support for
those who have suffered losses in the workplace and to increase awareness
of safety within the workplace. I am a volunteer family guide in this
organization.
We are available to make presentations to schools, to companies large or
small. We share our story about how losing our child to a workplace
tragedy, injury or occupational disease affects every aspect of our life.
By sharing my story not only does it validate Brent's life but if it
makes even one person more conscientious of workplace safety and
increases awareness of their responsibilities and rights as an employee
and co-worker and one life is saved, then Brent's death has not been for
nothing. We want to make a difference. One thread alone is weak, when
woven together it is strong. I raise my glass in a toast to you Brent, of
whom I love so dearly and miss so very much each day. I love you my son.
Love always into eternity Mom, Chrissy, and Laura. Xoxo

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