DESBARATS o@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2004-12-31 published
Margaret "Peggy"
DESBARATS
By Peter DESBARATS,
Friday,
December 31, 2004 - Page A18
Mother, teacher, librarian. Born March 25, 1909, in Montreal.
Died October 2, 2004, in London, Ontario, after a stroke, aged
Among the few possessions in Peggy's nursing home bedside table,
for eight years after her first debilitating stroke, was an ordinary
notebook, its black front cover ripped diagonally from top to
bottom. It was the journal of a 1929 European trip kept by a
new McGill University graduate, Hullett
DESBARATS.
Peggy was the reason that Hullett was in France. When the two
met at a dance in Montreal, it had been love at first sight,
much to the horror of Hullett's snobbish American-born mother
who dominated the life of her only child as well as her quiet
French-Canadian husband. She did everything she could to break
up the romance between Protestant Peggy and Catholic Hullett,
including sending him to Europe for an extended holiday. And
she made him promise not to write or receive letters from Peggy
while he was there.
Hullett kept his promise; well, sort of. He guiltily read letters
that Peggy sent to a mutual friend in Europe and wrote to her
in the journal that he intended to give her on his return.
"Mother has no right to gamble with my future happiness," he
wrote when he learned that his mother was planning to send him
to her home city of Philadelphia as soon as he returned from
overseas. "That is why I feel that a year apart would be a needless
cruelty. No, my dear, I will leave no stone unturned to make
Mother see the truth of this.... " And so he did, opposing his
mother for the first time in his life. In 1981, Peggy added a
postscript:
"Yes, his mother tried hard to separate us," she wrote, "and
managed to get him to Europe and back -- but then he firmly and
flatly refused to leave Montreal again and me. So there we were,
very young, no money of our own, different religions, in the
middle of one of the worst business Depressions ever -- in our
own minds, we were beset by many problems. I had one more year
at McGill to finish, which I did. He went to work immediately
for his Dad at Desbarats Printing and we embarked on a long courtship,
then engagement and finally married on October 5, 1932."
Writing in the journal in 1981, almost 20 years after Hullett's
first and fatal heart attack, Peggy confessed that "it is hard
to believe that my dear husband wrote this more than 50 years
ago." She continued, "It is lonely without him, still....
"I may destroy this volume... It was written just for my eyes
to see. Our children may find it very unsophisticated (as we
were) and even funny, which I would deplore." She needn't have
worried. A few days after her death, I took the tattered notebook
with me to her funeral. There I read excerpts from both my father's
journal and her commentary. I wanted the few people attending
her funeral to hear her own words.
"I have seldom looked at this over the years," she wrote, "but
began to read it again just recently, and found it comforting,
now that I am old, to know that we truly did love each other
so much and really suffered when we were apart." I was born exactly
nine months after their wedding, growing up to become "a distant
young man focused on my own ambitions," as I confessed at her
funeral in a postscript to my mother's postscript to my father's
journal.
"But the deaths of my father and younger brother in the 1960s
brought us closer," I related. "And somewhere along the line,
to my astonishment, I realized that she had decided that no matter
what I did, I was her son and she would support me unconditionally.
She taught me the meaning of unconditional love, and in recent
years I tried to return a little bit of this to her. She was
so patient and uncomplaining in infirmity, year after year."
Journalist and author Peter
DESBARATS is Peggy's son.
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DESMARAIS o@ca.on.manitoulin.howland.little_current.manitoulin_expositor 2004-09-29 published
Vera Alma EADIE
In loving memory of Vera Alma
EADIE who died at Toronto East General
Hospital on Friday, September 24, 2004 at the age of 79 years.
Vera spent all her summer vacations on the Manitoulin. Loving mother of
Darlene and husband Martin
GOLDBERG of Toronto. Cherished by grand_son
Julian.
Predeceased by her parents William and Norma
EADIE.
Will be
greatly missed by her sister Dora
DESMARAIS of Thunder Bay and her
brother Jim
EADIE of Little Current. She is predeceased by sisters
Gertrude RITCHIE and Laura Stephens and brothers Albert and William
EADIE.
Loving aunt of many nieces and nephews. Visitation was from 7 -
9 pm Sunday, September 26th. Funeral was held at 11 am, Monday,
September 27th, 2004 at the Island Funeral Home. Reverend J.
VANKESTEREN
officiating. Burial at Mountainview Cemetery.
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DESMOULIN o@ca.on.manitoulin.howland.little_current.manitoulin_expositor 2004-12-08 published
SHIGWADJA
--In loving memory of Jacob
SHIGWADJA who passed away Nov. 25, 2003.
A father and grandfather.
He fought so hard to stay with us
He knew we’d miss him so
But God knew he was hurting
And said it’s time to go.
He suffered long without complaint
Oh yes, he paid his dues
He never once said “pity me”
Just smiled and saw it through.
His pain has stopped, the hurting done,
How we miss his dear sweet face
God took his hand and led him home
He’s in a better place.
One year ago he left us
With fond memories every more
We all know he will be waiting
On the other shore.
We love you very much. Melissa and Natasia
DESMOULIN and grandchildren Faith, Breanne, Hope and Alex.
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