McBRIDE o@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2003-12-24 published
Charlotte Isabel
GROVER
By Kathryn
STORRING,
Wednesday,
December 24, 2003 - Page A20
Woman of words, lover of cats. Born September 25, 1953, in Toronto.
Died October 1, of cancer, aged 50.
You may have noticed my cousin on one of her regular tours of
Toronto's Eaton Centre. A large woman -- a side-effect of medication
she may have been somewhat dishevelled, depending on the day.
You may have also noticed how her purposeful stride was interrupted
by a limp, the result of a hip problem. It's unlikely she returned
any glance you cast her way. In middle years, she wasn't out
to seek your acceptance or the approval of the so-called normal
world.
Charlotte GROVER did not have an easy life -- not one most of
us would choose. She had schizophrenia coupled with mild autism,
after all. But how do we measure happiness or define achievement?
In the end, is it not about being cushioned by love, living in
a supportive home, knowing you've overcome incredible challenges?
Raised by doting parents and living for the past eight years
with Pilot Place, a residence for schizophrenics, Charlotte was
gentle, endearingly polite and keenly curious about her interests:
words, animals, history, droll jokes. All of this made it easy
for me and another cousin, Holly
McBRIDE of Peterborough, Ontario,
to accept a request from Charlotte's mother that we be future
co-guardians. In retrospect, my acceptance may also have been
an attempt to settle the past -- all those years when Charlotte's
name evoked profound sadness in our extended family; those years
when few of us knew what to say or do.
Charlotte's father, John, an accountant who loved art and poetry
as much as numbers, died in 1993. Her mother, Rachel, whose remarkable
intellect fuelled a career at the University of Toronto's rare
books library, had a stroke last spring that has left her partially
paralyzed.
As a child, Charlotte was healthy, bright and cheerful, but her
behaviour was decidedly unusual. I remember her standing apart,
watching, as her cousins played on my family's farm near Peterborough.
It was more than the awkwardness of a city kid visiting country
cousins. Often she would retreat to the house and read a dictionary,
emerging to recite definitions in her measured tones. There was
also her obsession with our Siamese cat, Simon. Insistent, predictable
questions would start with, "Do you like Simon, Kathy?" and progress
through a stream of comparisons to other, lesser felines.
Still, her behaviour did not attract labels. If anything, we
looked upon her as an intellectual in the making. However, in
teen years, schizophrenia overshadowed her life. School marks
plummeted. Attempts were made to find specialized education and,
later, suitable lodging -- fresh starts and new disappointments
for parents who were steadfast in their love and support. With
visitors to the family home, Charlotte was distant. Conversations
would pull her in, but she would quickly disengage. Often, making
tea was her easiest social connection.
This all changed in recent years with improved medications and
her move to Pilot Place. She still visited her mother regularly,
but her life found a new rhythm in a mix of independence, support
and routine. She took pleasure in visits to the Eaton Centre
or the library's history section. She had setbacks, including
a vascular necrosis, which affected her hip, but she never complained
unless you made specific inquiries. Instead, she filled conversations
with questions about family, jobs or hobbies -- and, of course,
Simon.
It seems unfair that during this period of calm, cancer was silently
stalking her. By the time it revealed itself, with painful blood
clots, Charlotte had only one week to live, spent in St. Michael's
Hospital. We gathered there -- family, my aunt's Friends, a compassionate
medical team and Pilot Place staff. If it had to be, it was the
best it could be.
Kathryn STORRING is Charlotte's cousin.
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McBRIEN o@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2003-03-05 published
MacBRIEN,
Ann
Elizabeth (née
NICHOLLS)
Following a valiant battle with cancer, Ann left us peacefully
on March 1st, 2003, at home with her family beside her. Ann will
be greatly missed, in particular by Joe, her loving husband of
nearly 50 years, her children Jennifer, Marian, Julie, Susan
and Bill, and her grandchildren Megan, Mallory, Meredith, Martin,
Steven and Lauren. Cremation has been arranged. A Memorial Service
will be held in the chapel of the Morley Bedford Funeral Home,
159 Eglinton Avenue West, Toronto, on Thursday, March 6th at
11: 00 a.m. A reception will follow at the funeral home. The family
wishes to express heartfelt thanks to the Hospice Palliative
Care Network personnel who were all so very helpful and supportive.
The family will appreciate donations in Ann's memory to the Princess
Margaret Hospital Foundation.
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McBROOM o@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2003-09-06 published
McBROOM,
Dr.
George
Lindsay
September 11, 1921-September 7, 2002
In loving memory of my husband, who died September 7, 2002. Every
day in my thoughts and forever loved, Dor
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