HETTEL o@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2003-12-08 published
Anne (HETTEL)
LANTHIER
By Terry (KRUPA)
LANTHIER
Monday,
December 8, 2003 - Page A18
Volunteer, wife, mother, aunt. Born May 23, 1920, in Timisoara,
Romania. Died June 12 in Brantford, Ontario, of cancer, aged
Anne HETTEL was the eldest of five children, born in Timisoara,
Romania. Despite the lack of modern technologies and material
goods, she frequently recalled her early years in Eastern Europe
as filled with the warmth of family, sibling adventures and the
creative activity of childhood.
At the age of 11, Anne moved with her family to Canada. Her most
vivid memory of the trip was eating a banana for the first time,
without the necessary information that the peel should first
be removed. The family settled in Montreal, where her father
established himself as a tailor in the area of St. Urbain Street,
made famous in the writings of Mordecai
RICHLER.
At the age of 16, she contracted tuberculosis and was sent to
"the San" at St. Agathe for two years. Anne was never one to
feel victimized by her life circumstances. She had many good
memories of her time in the sanitarium and developed several
lifelong Friendships. Recalling how, after her discharge from
St. Agathe, a young man she dated had stopped his association
with her in response to her illness, Anne sighed "Oh that poor,
poor man." She refused to internalize the judgments of others,
or to accept intolerance.
Pictures of Anne in her early adult years, strolling confidently
down the streets of Montreal, arm in arm with her two sisters,
radiate happiness and self-confidence. Wearing impeccably and
classically tailored suits, these beautiful young women would
not be out of place in today's scene.
In 1947, Anne married Spencer
LANTHIER, the
son of a prominent
councilman and business family, from the Town of Mount Royal.
Anne joked that her future husband, a seriously picky eater,
was put to the test by Sunday lunches with her family that consisted
of their favourites, raw bacon, cabbage, onion and boiled potatoes.
In marriage, Ann became a full-time wife, and eventually the
mother of three children and the beloved Auntie Anne to many
nieces and nephews.
Anne was an active member of the Town of Mount Royal community.
She was involved in the ladies' auxiliary for the Protestant
Church, contributing her time and energy to fundraisers and annual
rummage sales. She was a member of the lawn bowling club and
regularly attended meetings of a women's club.
But by far her most valued role was creating a strong sense of
home, to be enjoyed by her many Friends and family. Anne took
her family obligations seriously, and she nursed several close
relations through prolonged and serious illnesses with kindness,
compassion and love.
While Anne offered her children her constant love and support,
she understood them to be individuals who needed to make their
own decisions and to create their own lives. She respected this
by maintaining an active and satisfying life that always included,
but was not dependent on her family. With the death of her husband
in 1984, she continued her travels to visit her sister in Florida,
toured Europe and Canada, and tended her garden. She enjoyed
young people, and confided that she would have liked to have
had the opportunity to learn to swim, to rollerblade and to ice-skate.
Anne was diagnosed with cancer in the spring of 2002. She spoke
of a watching a television show that had featured young people
who had survived cancer. Clearly concerned about how she would
manage this dreaded disease, she stated, "I thought if they could
handle it so well, then I suppose I can do it, too."
Anne did manage the disease with grace and dignity. Her final
gift was to assure her family that she had indeed lived a full
and complete life, and that even at the end she wanted for nothing.
Terry is Anne's daughter-in-law.
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